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                                  What about girls

Why are there abusive relationships among teenagers? In high school, boys and girls tend to scream at each other for no reason. In many teen relationships, the abusiveness comes from one of the partners wanting more control of the other person. They don't want you to talk to outside people, or control every aspect of their daily routines, and where that person goes. The person that may be in controlled or controlling the other person, believes there isn't anything wrong with isolating their partners. The other partner thinks that because of who they are and what their relationship should be like, thatthey have to deal with their problems on their own. Other reason why abuse in teenage relationships exist towards each other is the lack of respect, jealousy, moodswings and force in sexual intercourse's and drugs. Many adults will say that strong arguments are not meant for teenagers and that teenagers are too young to be in abusive relationships. Yet, these adults are wrong and need to help teens out. Knowing that violence is not a good solution, some teens are smart and brave enough to go to an adult for help.

Controlling one person in a relationship can cause one partner to get hurt by not letting that person speak freely, go places, and isolating him or her from friends and family. The agreements teenagers have and getting abuse from each other are very dangerous. teenagers have the craziest idea that telling the other partner what to do is cool. In this way, a huge fight led to disrespecting each other and not doing anything to free themselves from the problem. The reaction of each person from a little disagreement can lead to violence.

For example,one girl was sitting on the couch with her boyfriend, who asked her to get him a bowl of cereal. When she refused, he picked her up and threw her to the couch. She laughs and says "why can't you get yourself"? From a boys point of view, if the girl doesn't do what he says he gets to mistreat the girl. Teenage girls believe that since they decided to be in a relationship, they are not allowed to run to others for help. Teenage boys on the other hand, use their strength against females. Some beliefs of teenage boys and girls are:

'Young Men May Believe:they have the right to "control" their female partner in any way necessary "masculinity"is physical aggressiveness, they "posses" their partners, they should demand intimacy, they may lose respect if they are alternate supportive toward their girlfriends. Young Women May Believe: they are responsible for solving problems in their relationship, their boyfriends jealousy ,possessiveness and even physical abuse is "romantic", abuse is "normal" because their friends are also being abuse, there is no one to ask for help.'(www.acadv.org)

Young teenagers find abuse romantic and normal because their friends are going through the same situation. Teenagers sometimes get aggressive when they are jealous, they force their partners to have sex, or do drugs. Sometimes having mood swings will cause teenagers to abuse their partners.

'Early Warning Signs That Your Date May Eventually Become Abusive: extreme jealousy, controlling behavior, quick involvement, unpredictable mood swings, alcohol and drugs use, isolates you from friends and family, uses force during an argument, shows hypersensitivity, believes in rigid sex roles, blames other for their problems or feelings, cruel to animals, verbally abuse, abused former partners, threatens Violence.' (www.acadv.org)

These tips shows how a teenager may act or do to be abusive toward their partners or others.

Any type of violence should be taken seriously. Especially when teenagers are involved in having relationships. Teenagers should be more open to adults or others who they trusts, to get help. By getting help, there's better chance of being safe from threats, insults and abusiveness from their partners.


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